which is worse.
when you thought that it has always been there, but yet there wasnt even anything at all.
or
when it has always been there, yet you do not know of it at all.
i guess its the second one. even if it wasnt there and you thought it was, its easier to get over it. and start again. but when it has always been there and yet you do not know, its crazy. so near yet so far. sucks.
anw this is random. (:
thank God that there is always someone there for me. or at least i guess so and believe. but what happens when sometimes it feels as if that person isnt there at all? it's like, when you needed it the most. i guess its just a 'feeling'. but it feels so insecure. as if, that person is just 'imaginarily' there but may be gone any moment. that must be the worse feeling ever.
emotions are powerful. it can totally change a person in an instant. lets say, you failed a test. you will feel sad. thats an emotion. and maybe you will start being emo the whole day. and it doesnt really matter, i mean, you'll get over it. but lets say, it affects the people around you? its bad. like when that person really cares about how you are feeling and everything, and yet are totally ignored. that person who is feeling sad made another person feel sad, not on purpose. and it goes on.
i think its terrible if the person you love is feeling down or something, and yet we dont seem to be of help. totally ignored and rejected. its worse than feeling down.
i actually typed alot of stuff but decided to delete it all. maybe im just crapping. i feel so easily influenced by people's feelings and mood. i hate it. why must you always make me feel so sad and at the next moment happy. i hate this. i feel so dependent. maybe i am. i shall stop.
you know i care, can you please stop being dumb and keeping things to yourself? i feel so, useless to you. and i have to find out things from your friends instead. how would i feel.
i hate being so insecure. hate hate hate. i shall change and be a lil more independent.
and, i love you. please dont make me worry so much about you can?
bye.