OMG MY COM LAGGING LIKE CRAPOLAXZXZXZ!
damn.
anw, today woke up, then met chris and nat at s11 there, then ate. :D
the bakkutteh standard drop! its like so pathetically little. ):
talked and ate while waiting for krissy.
then she came, eat damn slow la she pigg.
after very long, we took mrt, then walked to her hse. (:
changed, went to the pool.
happiness.
then talked abt stuff at the jacuzzi and bitched and all.
yay stayover at krissy's next thurs! <3
please mummy lemme go.
bathed, went to thomson plaza.
was broked, borrowed from krissy, then ate kfc.
zinger! <3>
walked ard abit, then went to bus stop.
was waiting for bus alone.
sian i hate it when im alone.
anw, -.- , decided to take 410/163, depending which came first.
410 came first, surprisingly.
so took 410. the ride was horrible.
wanted to die. don know why.
reach j8. wanted to walk ard, but alim said go home.
so i did.
waited for 59.
then he msged me and told me he was going home alr, from suntec.
so i stupidly thought that there might be a chance to meet him.
i don know why. -.-
i guess i really really wanted to see him. i needed to.
sat at the railing thingy.
missed 2 buses.
40minutes.
i sat there doing nth.
just stoning and waiting for idk what.
):
my stupidity kay.
then the bus came, and i decided that i should stop being stupid and go home.
so i did.
reached home.
watched tv.
bathed.
on com.
today was the disaster.
and it turned out sucky anw.
im not supposed to be too affected by it.
but how not to.
im trying superhard.
no one know how i really feel.
except you.
but, i dont want to act anymore.
i dont know how to tell people.
how to tell my mum that i DONT hate him.
i want to know about him.
i want to know what happen.
i care.
she thinks otherwise now and it sucks.
everyone thinks.
i have been putting up a strong front for too long.
its gonna fall, yet there's nothing else i can do, but to try to hold it up.
i cant, i know i cant.
every part of me knows i cant do it.
but yet, something tells me to stand firm, and hold it there.
i dont know how am i going to continue.
this is just the first disaster.
wait till the rest comes.
there are more to come, till the end of this matter.
but, i dont know how im going to face all this.
i dont know what to expect.
i dont know.
thats the word.
i dont know.
i feel so weak sometimes.
i am.
but still, im going to try my best.
its not going to affect me more than its supposed to.
everyone thinks it doesnt even affect me at all.
its a lie.
that i've been making everyone believe.
im going to be strong.
im not going to cry.
im not going to cry anymore.
at least i know that there is someone there for me.
who bothers to listen to my crap.
and wipe off my tears.
who can make me smile when there is no exact reason to.
and make me feel so loved when everything around me is hate.
thanks boyfriend for being there for me.
i love you.
<3
byebye peeps.
enough emo-ing for today.
five to fifteen :D